Learning this about delayed gratification changed my life

Delayed gratification.

The ability and willingness to sacrifice something right now to get something in return later.

Or is it….?

To some degree, yes, that’s what delayed gratification is - but there’s more to it than just that simple concept.

You see, most people when trying to understand delayed gratification simply take the opposite of instant gratification - doing something now, often effortlessly, to get a reward now.

But delayed gratification has a whole other side to it that so many people neglect and it’s the difference between those who do something great, and those who stay stuck where they are in mediocrity.

However, to understand it, you first need to understand instant gratification. 

Instant gratification is the urge to fulfill a desire right now.

It’s being hungry and grabbing a packet of Oreos.

It’s being bored and scrolling TikTok.

It’s doing things mindlessly to get a result immediately.

And you know what mindlessness leads to, right?

It leads to the path of least resistance, it leads to actions that don’t benefit you but instead harm you, especially over time.

And that’s the problem with instant gratification.

It’s impossible to do something with no effort, with no conscious thought or intention, and have it benefit you.

So when you give into instant gratification and act mindlessly with no effort or conscious thought, it’s going to be damaging.

This is bad enough by itself, but by giving into instant gratification, you give up the opportunity to delay gratification.

You give up the opportunity to improve your life and experience progress.

Because improvement and progress require you to give out energy into the world in the form of your work, it requires you to give something up and earn progress.

That requires conscious thought, intention, and the sacrifice of mindless activities that reward you now but damage you later - or in other words, instant gratification.

Delayed gratification is the only possible path to progress.

Without the willingness or ability to do something now for a result later, you can’t progress.

Because improvement is a lagging indicator, it follows the work. 

Sometimes by days, sometimes by hours, sometimes by years.

But it always follows.

If you’re not willing to do the damn work that you know you need to do with a gap between your reward and your doing of the work, you won’t make it.

You’ll fall into the trap of instant gratification, which like we discussed, destroys the opportunity for progress.

However, delayed gratification isn’t as simple as just doing something now to get something later.

That’s just 1 aspect.

The more neglected aspect that changed the game for me, my life, my progress, and my business is the ability to identify and prioritise work that creates BIG results later, rather than small results sooner.

Let me give you an example that I see all the time.

A single man in his 20s works a job, he works hard, he works 50-70 hours a week depending on the week, and if he can get overtime, which he’ll always take.

But he wants to build a business of his own so that he can eventually quit his job and live life on his terms.

Yet, he will take every bit of overtime offered to him, simply because it’s extra cash this week, which means he has no time to work on building his own business that will let him live life on his terms.

He’s able to delay gratification by doing overtime and working hard to get extra cash when the paycheck comes in.

Yet he’s unable to identify and prioritise the work that will create BIG results later (working on his own business) and instead prioritises the work that creates small results sooner (overtime for extra cash).

You see, everything has a trade-off.

And understanding this trade-off is a massive factor in what makes some people great, and some people not.

It’s one thing to know that you have to do work now for a reward later.

But are you able to truly delay gratification by doing the work that creates big results far later rather than the work that creates small results sooner rather than later?

Remember, for progress, you need to put effort, energy, and intention into a valuable task.

If you’re unable to delay gratification, you’ll not be able to do that.

You’ll fall mindlessly into bad habits and poor actions that feel good now but create no results down the line.

However, if you’re able to delay gratification to a certain level, you’ll be able to do work now that creates some results later and you’ll get to a certain point in life.

You’ll not get far, but you’ll get somewhere.

But if you want more, if you want to do great things and live a life that you love, you need to be able to truly delay gratification.

You have to be able and willing to identify and prioritise the work that creates big results later, rather than small results sooner.

How To Delay Gratification

One of my pet peeves is watching or reading something about a concept and them not explaining how to implement it.

Delayed gratification is always one of these topics people forget to tell you how to implement.

And that’s exactly why I’m about to tell you how to do it;

The Cookie Framework 

2 things;

1. This framework can applied to anything, but let’s use a cookie as an example.

2. This is the 1st step to delaying gratification

If you’re already good at delaying it, you’ll not have to worry about this step, but if you suck at it, then this is your first step.

This framework is simple.

If you want a cookie, instead of just going down to the kitchen and getting one, earn it.

Force yourself to do, for example, 20 push-ups before you’re allowed to get the reward.

Now, that’s simple, right? Everyone can do that.

But what you want to do is make this harder over time.

Tomorrow, you could do 20 push-ups and then wait 5 minutes before you’re allowed to get the reward.

The next day, you could do 25 push-ups and wait 10 minutes before you’re allowed to get the reward.

The idea here is this;

The first step to delaying gratification is doing work now to get a reward or result later.

With this framework, you’re doing the work, whether it’s push-ups,  a walk, a run, deep work, reading a book, or whatever positive habit you’re trying to build, and then creating a gap between the work and the reward.

Over time, you increase the work, by doing more push-ups, reading more pages, or working for longer, and increase the gap between the work and the reward from 5 minutes to 10, to 20, to 30, and so on.

You’re building your ability to delay gratification in the most basic sense, allowing you to take this newfound skill and apply it to every area of your life.

Start Working Out 

I started working out at 17, I competed in Olympic weightlifting and won a British Weightlifting Championship and a few other things, but nothing has been more influential on my life than working out.

It is the epitome of delayed gratification.

If you want to get bigger, if you want to get stronger, you have to hit the gym today, eat right today, sleep right tonight, and repeat for months on end to get your desired result.

So it’s the ultimate way to build your ability to delay gratification but also to just improve your damn life.

The discipline, the consistency, the confidence, and everything else you learn from working out will change your life.

So, start hitting the gym.

Build Something Off Your Own 

This isn’t essential.

But if you’re ambitious, if you want to live life on your terms and set big goals, do what you want to do, and do it when you want to do it, then it is essential.

A job limits your ambition.

A job limits your freedom.

A job limits your ability to delay gratification.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti 9-5 or anything like it, I think it’s great and is the way forward for most people.

But if you’re not most people or if you don’t want to be most people, then you can’t be limiting your ability to delay gratification.

90% of jobs tell you what to work on, what goals to aim for, and when to work on them.

You’re not able to do the work that you want to do for the goals you want to work on.

You’re not able to prioritise work that creates big results later rather than small results sooner.

If you’re limiting your ability to delay gratification, you’re limiting your progress.

And nothing will teach you to delay gratification more than a business.

You have to work your damn ass off for years before you see any decent results.

You don’t get paid next week for the work you do.

But you do get to decide what to chase, what to pursue, and what to work on.

If you want a life that is the result of delayed gratification, a life on your terms, you need to build something of your own.

Aim Big, Play The Long Game

The most fundamental part of delayed gratification is the part most people ignore - the ability to identify and prioritise work that creates big results later.

But most people only ignore it because they’re not playing the long game and they’re not aiming big.

So why would they put in the extra effort and energy to do the work that creates bigger results later down the line?

Again, this is a massive differentiator between those who make something great of themselves and those who don’t.

When you play long-term games, you get to achieve bigger goals, make smarter and better decisions, and experience compounding and momentum.

When you play long-term games, you get to do something great.

So instead of thinking in months or years, think in decades.

Break those decade-long goals down into yearly goals, quarterly goals, monthly goals, weekly goals, and daily actions.

You now have something to focus on each day that if you do, every single day, will add up to you achieving your decade-long goals (so long as you regularly analyse your progress and implement what you learn).

You’re delaying gratification, aiming big, and playing the long game.

Delaying gratification isn’t only about doing the work for a reward later, it’s about being able to identify and prioritise work that creates BIG results later, rather than small results sooner.

Play the long game and aim big, my friend.

- Ross.

And when you’re ready, here’s how I can help you:

• Achieve Self-Mastery, unlock your true potential, and smash every goal you set with MasteryOS

• Join the waitlist for cohort 2 of Done In 4

• Learn how to build a multi-6-figure audience and business with Personal BrandBldr